Getting to Know Your H2b
We have just got back from our third marriage class at the church. It definitely makes us giggle. It does make it hard to participate because h2b and I have been together for 9 years.
Not every couple getting married these days has been together as long as h2b and I have been. We met and fell in love in 2003, at the end of university, so that by the time we’re walking down the aisle, we’ll have been a couple for 9 years and a week!
There are a number of things h2b and I know about each other after being together for so long:
- Conflict occurs when h2b feels he isn’t being listened to
- If h2b wants me to pay attention to what he’s saying when I’m reading or using the computer, he has to shout ‘Fran!’ before he starts talking
- If I want new shoes (or anything expensive) I have to check with h2b that we have enough money
- I am awful with money
And lots of other wonderful things. H2b is cautious (or as I call it, indecisive) and I’m impulsive. But we also have lots of things in common. We both like watching TV and we’d both like a relaxing but interesting holiday.
All these things we knew before we went to the wedding classes because we’ve been together for so long, but I think it would be good for couples getting married after a shorter time together.
In Our First Session
Our curate at the church is running the marriage classes and he’s really easy to talk to and approachable. He makes the sessions actually quite fun!
picture from www.lifeatthecentre.org/news
My church buddy (a friend from my childhood) is also attending the classes which is really nice. We have someone to chat to and discuss thoughts, and someone to have a giggle with!
We’re following the Nicky and Sila Lee course (Nicky and Sila in the pic above) and they’re sharing with us their experiences as a married couple.
In our first session, h2b and I actually had a little row. I hadn’t realised h2b was a bit nervous and he hasn’t listened to one of the activities. I thought he didn't care, he was hoping for some support from me.
Still we got over it, as we always do, and we went to our next class.
A lot of the classes are about resolving conflict. They’re about recognising our differences and finding a way to talk through problems.
picture from www.speak-first.com/
I don’t think that h2b and I have many conflicts. We seem to acknowledge that we’re different and have different needs and ideas, but we used to bicker all the time!
This week’s session was talking quite a bit about money, who is the spend thrift? Who is tight? We had to look at how h2b and I are different with our decision making and our feelings of anger.
When getting angry, we had to think if we were a rhino or a hedgehog. Do we get very angry and charge, or do we curl up with our prickles out?
picture from www.animalcorner.co.uk/
I’m definitely a hedgehog! And h2b is most definitely a rhino!
If you’re thinking about going to your marriage classes, I’d definitely recommend it, especially if you’ve been together with your h2b for only a few years. You may realise something about your relationship you didn’t know!
I think I am enjoying the classes, and h2b has even started to relax a bit. It’s also a good chance to see the curate and chat about the actual ceremony.
Looking forward to next week!