A Touchy Subject
Children at weddings is a difficult subject to tackle. Parents can be very touchy about their children not being invited to a wedding, however brides and grooms are on a budget and are often limited by numbers.
There are a few things to consider when deciding whether or not to include children in the invitations.
Wedding planner, Barry Long, explained on the BBC website that 10 years ago it wasn’t an issue but that more and more recently brides and grooms are stipulating no children allowed. He suggests that the reason is children are more disruptive than they used to be and brides are worried their day will be ruined.
- It’s more convenient for your guests to invite their kids. They don’t have to worry about childcare or rushing off to relieve the babysitter.
- ‘Close family members may stay away out of protest and some guests react badly when they leave their children at home but see other youngsters there.’ BBC Website
- Children add atmosphere to a wedding, it adds to the magic of the day to see them playing together
- It will keep your guests happy and keep from upsetting people
- Screaming children disrupt the day, interrupt the vows and the speeches and ruin wedding photos
- Naughty children distract the parents and leave a bad atmosphere
- Children add to numbers and cost when you only really want to see their parents
- With too many children at a wedding, it could resemble Disneyland
- Chn take the focus from the bride and groom who should really be the centre of attention.
It’s important to remember that responsible parents will remove noisy children from the ceremony or the speeches. You can provide very cheap and child-friendly crayons and paper to keep children of all ages entertained. (You might find some adults drifting towards the colouring table.)
It is also your day. You shouldn’t have any one at your wedding you don’t want to be there. The people you invite to your wedding must understand that you are on a budget and you have number limitations. If the venue only has space for 60 people and you have a wide circle of friends and a large family, your guests must understand there’s simply not enough space for children.
I do think that it is important to have an open line of communication with your guests. Instead of writing ‘absolutely no children’ on your invitations, talk to your guests and explain the situation. People are generally understanding but equally if your guests then say that they are unable to attend your wedding, you must be equally as understanding.
For me, I would love to invite children that I know.
My best mate, one of the groomsmen, has three children. I’ve known his children since the day they were born and I’m fairly fond of them. When I made the guest list, it was obvious that his girls should be invited. My nieces and nephew are in the bridal party. However, I’m less keen to invite children I’ve not met before or don’t know very well.
We are on a budget and we are limited by numbers. While I’m very conscious of not wanting to invite some children but not others, I do need to be mindful of keeping numbers down.
Personally, I think kids are cute at weddings. They’re all dressed up in their cute dresses and adorable suits, they break the ice when everyone is too shy to start dancing.