Duties

Who Does What?

Being asked to be a bridesmaid or best man is fantastic! It means you’ll get a posh dress or a swish suit and will feature in your friend’s wedding! You’ll be able to share all their happiness and help them celebrate their special day!

But what do you actually have to do?

The Best Man

In the olden days, the best man had to marry the bride if the groom declined to show up. He was quite often the groom’s younger brother or a very close unmarried friend.

Nowadays the best man has different duties. How he’s responsible for organising the stag do, and supporting the groom. He ensures that the groom turns up to the ceremony on time, looks after the rings and makes a speech at the reception.

He’s also the boss of all the ushers, making sure everyone is on task, sorting out any problems that may arise and he’s responsible for returning the suits after the wedding.

The Chief Bridesmaid

In the olden days, bridesmaids were there to confuse the evil spirits so that they wouldn’t know who the bride was.

In more recent times, your chief bridesmaid will organise your hen do, help you get ready on the morning of your wedding and hold your bouquet for you while you’re saying your vows.

She is also in charge of all the other bridesmaids!

Ushers

The ushers are mainly used for the ceremony and for photos. The ushers jobs are mainly to hand out the orders of service, escort guests to their seats (the bride’s side is the left, the groom’s side on the right) for the ceremony and one special usher escorts the bride’s mother to her seat.

Speeches

The Father-of-the-Bride

It’s the FotB’s job to welcome the guests, toast the groom’s parents and offer a few words of advice to the happy couple. He will welcome the groom to the family, say lovely things about his daughter and then a toast to the new Mr and Mrs.

The Groom

Your groom will thank his new FIL (father-in-law) for his kind words and thank all your guests for attending. If any of your guests have travelled from abroad or made a special effort to attend your wedding, he would mention them there.

Most importantly, your husband will say how beautiful you look and express how he felt when he first saw you walking down the aisle and especially how lucky he is to have you as his wife. (I hope my h2b is taking notes here!)

The Best Man

Your best man will thank the bridesmaids for looking beautiful and doing a fantastic job (although grooms often put this in their speeches), read any messages from absent guests, tell a few anecdotes about your groom and then toast the hosts and the newly weds.

He could also announce the cutting of the cake but it will depend on your timings.

It’s Your Day

While these are the traditional and typical duties for these particular roles, if your best man is very shy and wouldn’t want to give a speech, or one of your bridesmaids is hilarious, you can always swap around the jobs.

In America, it’s not uncommon for the bride and the chief bridesmaid to give a speech. It’s your special day, you should do what you want to do.