Sunday, 10 April 2011

Jokes for Wedding Speeches

How to Spice Up Your Wedding Speech

A lot of men, or whom ever is giving the speech, worry about how they’re going to entertain the hundreds of guests in front of them. I have searched the internet for cute and quirky jokes to add a bit of sparkle to a wedding speech.

  • The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
  • I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  • The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
  • [Said by speaker with bald hair or receding hairline] ‘I’ve been really worried about this speech. So worried, in fact, that I‘ve been tearing my hair out.’
  • ‘Pam and Pete are very different characters but they say opposites attract and in their case that’s certainly true. To get an idea of their chalk-cheese relationship, ask them to sit down on the sofa and then shout: “OOH AAH!!” Pete will jump up and start shouting, “OOH AAH CANTONAAAA!!!” Pam, meanwhile, will start dancing and singing: “OOH AAH JUST A LITTLE BIT! OOH AAH JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE!!!”’
  • ‘James and Belinda have been engaged for so long that I shall now read the following congratulatory telemessage from the Queen...’
  • 'It's been an absolute pleasure to give away my daughter today. My only regret is that I didn't do it years ago ...'
  • What Kind of Wedding Do You Want, My love?
  • 'I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
    A church filled with family and friends.
    I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
    He said one that would make me his wife.'


  • Wedding Toast
    To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage - Lao Tzu


  1. Cheers from Montreal and thanks for this fresh and timely info, I really enjoyed reading.
    wedding speeches

  2. Very admirable post. Thanks for sharing. You have plenty of ideas here to be take note and follow.

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