Jokes for Wedding Speeches

How to Spice Up Your Wedding Speech

A lot of men, or whom ever is giving the speech, worry about how they’re going to entertain the hundreds of guests in front of them. I have searched the internet for cute and quirky jokes to add a bit of sparkle to a wedding speech.

• The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
  
• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
  
• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  
• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  
• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
  
• [Said by speaker with bald hair or receding hairline] ‘I’ve been really worried about this speech. So worried, in fact, that I‘ve been tearing my hair out.’
  
• ‘Pam and Pete are very different characters but they say opposites attract and in their case that’s certainly true. To get an idea of their chalk-cheese relationship, ask them to sit down on the sofa and then shout: “OOH AAH!!” Pete will jump up and start shouting, “OOH AAH CANTONAAAA!!!” Pam, meanwhile, will start dancing and singing: “OOH AAH JUST A LITTLE BIT! OOH AAH JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE!!!”’
  
• ‘James and Belinda have been engaged for so long that I shall now read the following congratulatory telemessage from the Queen...’
  
• 'It's been an absolute pleasure to give away my daughter today. My only regret is that I didn't do it years ago ...'
  

• What Kind of Wedding Do You Want, My love?

'I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.'

                                                                       Anonymous

• Wedding Toast
  To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage - Lao Tzu